Here Goes

Observing the way I change in time – my patterns and my story – and how this very act of self-expression can either engage or repel, open or close, connect or separate.

Latest stories

recipes

I feel a ping of joy
when I bite into
something tasty
and think that I can
make it at home
and share it with
friends. I feel giddy
whenever I think
of writing recipes.

mascara

Today, I did this and this and I wore this to this and this is how I feel about packing and this is how I feel about mascara . . . And people read it because they don’t know how to live. They need people to tell them the right way. Why would I read about what people had for dinner or about their packing fiasco while promoting such high consumer, self-gratifying-ness? It’s ridiculous how...

on-Mon

It is so hot today. It reminds me of all those times I would drive to New York on a beautiful summer day and be stuck in bumper-to-bumper three-lane traffic. A feeling so tight in my chest that I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out but there was nowhere to go. On that hot tar. All those times I left  Maine on a sunny, bright Sunday to drive five hours back to New York. I would look at the...

like

I feel like I am being used all the time,
completely abused. I feel like he took
advantage of my vulnerability by waving
his contemplation exercise and yoga
cleanse in front of my face. This is
what happens when I open up to people.
They walk all over me. I know that
closing myself is not the answer, but
it feels like that is the only answer I have.

wheelbarrow

I am trying so hard to be honest with myself to figure out the real reason why I keep going on social media and why I’m working so hard on a blog. What is the point? I am completely wrong anyway. It’s just another self-obsession. I care only about myself. How can I make myself look really good while wearing this shirt? It’s not about the shirt – it’s about me. Why do I think I matter...

human-it

Here I am in a bed in a stranger’s house where I am weeding for two weeks and eating his crappy food. I could be working in finance, making money, taking yoga classes and buying my own expensive organic food. I know that I am ignoring the main issue here: I have no idea what I want. I don’t want to work every day at a job that I don’t like. I don’t want to feel like I’m doing one thing when...

lettuce

He is very passive aggressive and scolded me at
the dinner table for taking too much lettuce.
It doesn’t feel good to be scolded for taking too
much lettuce.

mayonnaise

I don’t know why he doesn’t buy organic fruit and vegetables.
I don’t know why he smokes. I don’t know why he puts sugar on
top of his raspberries or buys Hellman’s mayonnaise and Heinz.

bread

He complains about GMOs and how they ruin our soil, yet he buys bread at LIDL after leaving the farmer’s market where there were plenty of stands selling locally made bread and patisseries. He says he doesn’t eat red meat because it’s bad for his health, yet he smokes a pack a day. He tries to impress me with his travel stories, which he brings up in every single conversation, yet he...

wine

I go to bed feeling warm,
full and a bit starry.
I am looking for an out
to what is in front of me.
I am looking for a veil
to something that doesn’t
exist.

Think Green . . .

. . . and what comes to mind?

Fresh, Growth, Encouragement, Opportunity, Success, Environment, Movement, Change, Politics, Diet, Color, Grass, Trees, A Favorite Sweater.

Green has become a consistent almost cyclical progression toward a clear and vibrant wholeness of being and how do we get there and what does that mean to go?

Categories

Archives

Instagram